Mirror, mirror on the wall… who is that person I don’t recognize at all? The sad face looking back appears different and begs to question, “Who am I now?” It has been days, weeks, now months and still the exhaustion of grief has not loosened its grip. The question I hear most often is how long will this last? It seems endless and unfortunately there is no hour glass to show “times up, you’re done”.
Even when we know what to do to help us through the grief process, it does not mean it can be circumvented. The experience is hard and while we can try to avoid it by throwing ourselves into work, busyness or unhealthy habits, it only delays the painful truth of how our world had been rocked to the core. When the whirlwind slows and everyone returns to their lives, the loss remains. It sits there, waiting… to be acknowledged and reckoned with.
Ultimately, we determine when to slowly let go of the sadness. When we have cried enough tears, felt all the painful emotions and have held nothing back, it opens ourselves up to embrace the time we had with our loved one. Moving forward is a choice and remembering them without flinching is achievable.
With time, we will once again look in the mirror and say “There you are – it’s been a while.” Perhaps the gaze is different this time, being a little gentler with ourselves and having an increased compassion for others who are hurting. Grief changes us in unexpected ways, sometimes showing us things about ourselves we never knew.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Matthew 5:4
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