When we are physically hit with the reality of loss, the impact of it certainly cannot be neatly packaged into a one-size-fits-all box. Grief is undeniably messy and anyone going through it understands there is no pattern of predictability.
We hear about the Stages of Grief – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance but often wonder why our experience is more like check “all that apply” or “none-of-the-above”. Focusing on the classic stages may leave us thinking we are grieving all wrong.
Perhaps surviving grief feels more like you’re in the ring with a heavyweight champion and you’ve been punched in the gut. Down for the count, could go something like this:
1 PRAY! – The world looks different on our knees.
2 FAITHFULNESS – Dazed and confused holding on to the ropes.
3 SELF-CONTROL – Feel the pain, just keep going.
4 KINDNESS – Okay, not okay – thanks for asking.
5 GENTLENESS – It’s not blood, those are tears.
6 PATIENCE – Wait for it… I’m in here somewhere.
7 GOODNESS – Feeling support from the crowd.
8 JOY – Smiled again, maybe there’s hope.
9 PEACE – Standing firm on God’s promises.
10 LOVE – I miss you.
There you have it, a picture of messy emotions mixed with the Fruit of the Spirit to look at sorrow from a different perspective.
We all develop an individual style for fighting through grief and you probably have a top ten, too. The perfect way to mourn is uniquely yours and when a trigger shows up, you will be ready for the next round.
“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”
Philippians 4:13
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